Skip to content

J. Riley Castine Posts

Random Thought for Friday, September 30th, 2016: Fifth Grade

IMG_20140505_085058Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

I must apologize for this is a long joke but it’s a good one.  I heard this one while grabbing a bite to eat at work this week, enjoy!

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9.”
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36.”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions. The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants.”
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”
Harry: “Coconut.”
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”
Harry: “Shake hands.”
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Harry: “Firetruck.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.”
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, September 23, 2016: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

IMG_20140412_155334Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

Ugh, still stuck in sinus hell.

Yeah, it’s been fun reacquainting myself with my old friends Sudafed and Muscinex.

They are good friends that remind you every 12 and/or 4 hours that they need more attention.  They don’t do anything directly, they just leave hints like returning sinus pressure and hacking coughing.

Come to think of it, they are not really friends. Friends wouldn’t wake you up at 2 am that way…not unless they were in real trouble and needed bail money.

It’s the gift of a love/hate relationship really.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, September 16th, 2016: REPOST: Say No to Sinuses

20140628_142947Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

I’ve been fighting a cold this week, not really having a lot of time to write something so I’m stealing a post from back in December as it’s very accurate for me today, enjoy!

As I write this I am home sick with the wonders and joys of sinus pressure and drainage. Phlegm has become an intimate friend that I would truly love to part ways with as soon as I can. While I sit here contributing blowing my nose it occurred to me how we could change the world.

We need to get rid of our sinuses.

Seriously, like we need these holes in our heads? I think not. All they do is sit around all day, collect dust, become infected, clog and make our lives miserable.

You know that phrase, “like I need another hole in my head?”  Obviously the person who coined that phrase had chronic sinus infections.  I’m right there with ya mate. So, how do we get rid of our sinuses?

Well, the answer is simple. We need to evolve and quickly. While we are at it, let’s evolve out some other things that we don’t need. Say worry for example. We as a species spend far too much time worrying about things we have no control over. Worry, hate, sheer and utter stupidity. Yeah, we don’t need those things either.

So yeah, someone comes up with a way to cure the human race of the scourge that is our sinuses, please let me know.  I have some money I’d like to give you.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Remembering 9-11

The Day

I will always remember this day.
The day I thought of how much I loved my family,
How I wanted to see them again, to hold then in my arms,
Kiss them and show them how much of a treasure they really are.
How the Sun rises and sets in my heart to see them each day,
I will always remember that bittersweet pain.

I will always remember the day I saw the plane hit,
The towers trembling,
The smoke billowing upwards,
The people running and screaming in the streets.
I will always see in my mind the firefighters coming,
Looks of worry and duty in their eyes,
The pride I always felt as a child when they went to fight a fire,
To save a child from a burning building,
To fight the good fight, to save the day.

I will never forget the silence after the towers fell,
The clouds of dust rising,
The hope of seeing their faces rise above the rubble,
The wanting to hear their voices crying out that they were okay,
The hole in my heart when they were there no more.
I can never forget the site of crumbling concrete,
Where men and women in uniform are running out,
Where an Officer and a Gentleman stands with burned hands,
Where the halls of honor and duty stand in ruins,
The streets stop and people run to help, those in command.

I will always want to be there,
In my mind and in my spirit,
To be the hand that pulls the child,
The mother, the father, from the rubble,
The one who finds the officer, the Firefighter,
Alive under a shelter of steel and rock.

I will never forget the strength I saw,
The love I felt from everyone around me,
The open spirit people shared,
The absence of hatred for someone different.
I will always feel pride for all those on this world,
Who in one brief, shining moment, did not hate each other,
Did not care what the person next to them believed or what they looked like,
Who were united in anger, honor, pain and compassion,
Who wanted to make a difference in our lives.

I will always remember on this day,
To honor those who have fallen,
To cry out to the world that we will never forget,
That we will rebuild, that we will go on.
I will never forget that this was the day the world changed,
The day I truly understood pain, love, anger and compassion,
Honor, pride and justice.

This will always be to me
The Day.

Random Thought for Friday, September 9th, 2016: Shattering Illusions

IMG_20140419_111752Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t be quiet. There are things that I normally don’t talk about on my blog.  I don’t go into these particular topics as I just don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I’ve clung to the illusion that I could go on and talk about other things but it just is no longer possible.

You see, this has been festering for a long time.  It’s become a lie and I just can’t sit idly by and let these lies continue. Day after day and night after night I’ve had to live with this and I can’t take it anymore. Men everywhere will cringe and call me out for this but I don’t care.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m a toilet seat down kind of guy.

There, I’ve said it.  Don’t judge me too harshly.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

%d bloggers like this: