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Tag: Humor

Random Thought for Friday, May 19th, 2017: I Can’t Even

Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

I guess I must be one of the stupidest people on the planet.  I just can’t understand this behavior and I am through trying, I really am.

I was in line to pay for my lunch earlier this week when the cashier asked the customer for their id. The customer flew off the handle, screaming that it was racist to ask for id.

That’s where I felt my brain implode.

If you at paying with a credit or check card and the card is unsigned, a cashier can ask to see your identification to ensure that you are the owner of said card. Any retailer can ask for identification when presented with an unsigned card.

Fortunately…there was a cop in line behind me and yes, he did calm things down. He explained that it was not racist. He told the customer and the cashier that id is not needed if the card is signed.

It came out that the card was signed but the cashier insisted on id as the card was flagged for repeated disputed charges.

The customer insisted that no id was needed because she didn’t have her id, it was at home.

That’s when the cop made things more interesting.

Apparently he had followed her into the parking lot and noted that observed her driving a car.  So this person, admitted in public, in front of a cop, that she didn’t have a driver’s license with her while operating an automobile…well let’s just say that things did not go well for this customer.

If only I had been buying popcorn and a lawn chair…that would have made it a perfect afternoon. So now I am wondering if I should carry those two things with me all the time…I carry my driver’s license, why not add some accessories, right?

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, May 12th, 2017: Seppuku with a Spork

Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

LOL Democrats for being shocked and angry at Comey being fired.  You demanded that he be fired during the 2016 presidential campaign.  You got what you wanted, stop being whiny babies.

LOL Republicans for being shocked and angry at Comey being fired.  You demanded that he be fired during the 2016 presidential campaign.  You got what you wanted, stop being whiny babies.

LOL main stream media ‘news’ and opinion panels for being shocked and angry at Comey being fired. You demanded that he be fired during the 2016 presidential campaign.  You got what you wanted, stop being whiny babies.

The reality TV show, The United States of America, seems to have been renewed for another episode.  I just shudder at the thought of when the re-runs start.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, May 5th, 2017: Stop Using the Speaker Phone on your Mobile

Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

Seriously, this needs to stop.  For the love of everything sacred and pure, everyone, please stop using the speaker phone on your mobile phone.

I don’t need to hear the details of your conversation while I am shopping at Walmart.  Trust me, you exploits at the local gym are humorous to no one. I don’t care about your foot fungus that you are spreading in the showers.

Just stop it everyone. Speaker phone mode has its uses but please show that you are an intelligent life form that can exercise some iota of decorum and good judgement?

Really think about this one, okay?

If you are speaking with the fraud department about your credit card number being stolen and you recite that number aloud, on speaker phone, within earshot of 10 people, while queueing at a Walmart, it should not be a mystery why this is the 5th time your are the ‘victim’ of credit card fraud.

Willful neglect of personal information security, that’s what you are doing. That’s not the credit card company’s fault. Stop yelling at your credit card company, they are NOT the problem. You and your big mouth in public is the problem!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, April 28th, 2017: Writing Prompts in Traffic

Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

There are those moments that just make me wonder where in the hell my conscious brain goes when I am sitting stopped in traffic. The other morning while contemplating a writing exercise prompt, my brain came up with the following:

Lord Pilly MacKell and Lady Sara MacKell arrived at their son’s, Lord William MacKell, home late that afternoon. Lord William’s crops did not fair well last year and he implored for assistance from his parents.

They were renowned for their agricultural skills or so it was thought. There were those who suspected there was some darker secret afoot.

Lady MacKell was sat down heavily at the table that had been laid out in their honor. Lord MacKell deftly handed his traveling cloak to his trusted footman Bairnes and took up a cup of wine before taking his seat.

“So my love, how do you suggest we assist our son with his farming problem?”

Lady MacKell responds, “I am unsure my lord, I can not think for I am weary from our travels. You will excuse me, I shall retire to rest for a short while.”

Lady MacKell quickly climbs the stairs and heads for their customary chambers.

“Quite right my lady, a respite would be most welcome.”

Lord MacKell slowly stands up and slowly walks to the stairs, weary from the ordeal of travel. He shouts upwardly as he walks, “So my lady, I must inquire as it is of the most importance. Do you think we should dress for the work in the fields?”

Lady MacKell responds, “I should think that to be wise. As a point of fact to your inquiry, I have already begun the process.”

Lord MacKell is intrigued, “And my lady, to which point have you begun?”

Lady MacKell responds playfully, “Well…I have begun to disrobe.”

Lord Mackell’s walk quickens slighty, “I see…son, as we begin this endeavor, one must always dress appropriately for the occasion…os possibly undress as it were. My lady? May I ask of you your thoughts about the seeds?”

Lady MacKell responds, “My lord, you shall have to locate a vessel in which to contain the seeds.  If I remember, there is a bucket resting on the stairs.”

Lord MacKell has climbed the stairs to the point of seeing the bucket and picks it up, “I see my lady.  What a wonderful thought!”

Lady MacKell inquires, “Should the bucket be useful for the task or should I make arrangements to carry the seed myself?”

Lord MacKell eyes the bucket and frowns, “My lady, I should think it is insufficient for the task.”

Lady MacKell shouts louder from further in the chambers, “Why is that my lord?”

Lord MacKell grins slyly, “It pales in comparison to my lady, I should think you would carry the seed far better!”

Lord MacKell quckens his steps and arrives at the top of the stairs, “My lady, what of moisture? Should we arrange for water as such?”

Lady MacKell responds with sultry tones, “No my lord, there is more than sufficient moisture presently!”

Lord William looks toward the MacKell footman Bairnes with an awkward expression in his eyes.  Bairnes looks back at Lord William, shrugs and places Lord MacKell’s cloak down onto the table.

Lord MacKell continues his walk towards the chambers in earnest but stops suddenly, “My lady, I have a pressing question concerning our endeavor. As we being to sow the seed, should we sow wheat or barley?”

Lady MacKell giggles, “Why not both my lord?”

Lord MacKell runs to the door of the chambers, “My Lady, I knew there was a reason I loved you!”

Lord MacKell stops in his tracks as he arrives at the door, tilts his head to one side and gasps, “My lady! A cathedral! How thoughtful of you!”

Lady MacKell’s voice seductively flows aloud, “Pleasing to the eye, my lord?”

Lord MacKell rubs his hands together, “Oh my lady, most pleasing indeed.  Those buttresses, most impressive!”

Lady MacKell giggles again, “And the peaks and arches?”

Lord MacKell walks into the room, “I shall attend to them presently!”

He closes the door muttering, “Wheat and barley, wheat and barley, soil and toil, work, work, work…”

From behind the door the giggles, laughter and sounds of love-making progresses loudly.

Footman Bairnes looks around and everyone who was in the hall heads for the exits to escape the noise.  Barines addresses Lord William, “My lord? Now you know there secret to excellant success with regards to their crops.”

Lord William shakes his head and motions for the footman to follow him, “Yes, yes, I do.  No one wants to stay around and watch that sort of scene again!”

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Random Thought for Friday, April 21, 2017: Every Day is an Earth Day

Welcome to Friday’s Random Thought.

April 22nd is Earth Day.  It’s  celabration of our home, our world. It is a time for people to come together and do good things for our planet, to take care of our world.

It drives me nuts.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I think that polluting our lands and seas is a crime. I just don’t see the point of all these “this is <insert word> day” days. If something is important, do it all the time.  Like New Year’s resolutions, it is pointless.

Celebrate the Earth all the time, every day. Don’t throw trash on the ground, process it. Recycle, don’t pollute. Treat people the way you want to be treated, don’t be a jerk, merge in traffic, use your blinker, don’t start a fire that leads to an interstate highway to collapse.

It’s simple. Be a human being, not an a selfish jerk.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

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